Hilarity

A long time while ago... = When I was younger or some time ago
My am a... = I am a... (we are now working to correct this one as it has become quite the habit)
againstance = distance
I'm running an experience = I'm running an experiment
a narrow barrow = a bow and arrow

(While playing at a friend's house)
Ace: "You know, I have a penis and you have a vagina."
Ivy: "Yeah...I know."

(While chatting with Mom at the table)
"I'm talking about hamburgers, you know, not boogers."

(In the morning, while chatting with Dad)
Dad: "I'll be up in a minute. I'm fixing coffee."
Ace: "It's broken?"
Dad: "I'm making coffee."

(While reading a favorite book, Violet the Pilot)
"And teeth in her bugs!" (The story reads "bugs in her teeth.")

(While trying to pronounce "stairs")
Ace: "Let's go up stay-ahs."
Mom: "Okay, let's go up stay-ahs." (copying Aiston's pronunciation)
Ace: "No! It's STAY-AHS!"
Mom: "Oh sorry." (silent giggle)

(While talking to Dad)
Ace: "Take it easy, buddy!" (A direct quote from Violet the Pilot-again)

(While conversing with Dad, who was trying to pronounce the Tagalog word for "smelly")
Dad: "Bo-hoat."
Ace: "NO! Bo-ho-aht!"

(After a bath)
Ace: "Dad, when I'm by myself, I will call my penis my penis, but when I'm with you, I will call it my junk, okay?"
-laughter-

(In the kitchen)
Ace: "Oh no! A soup (cereal) falled on my shoits (shorts)!"

(At the dinner table)
Ace: "Look, I got a blizzard! Wait, no, I got a blister. A sliver?"

Dad: "So, tell us about using a jump rope for a tail in PE. We saw the photos from Coach Nat."
Ace: "Oh, yeah, you put the jump rope in your bum."
Dad: "Yeah? How does that feel?"
Ace: "Good. And then if you want another tail, you stick it in your inside bum."
Dad: "Oh, and how does that feel?"
Ace: "Great!"

Mom: "So, what do you do when a classmate wants to hit you?"
Ace: "I use the force, Mom."
Mom: "Oh, of course."